In a previous life
Always being blamed
For everyone's troubles and strife
If your hens stopped laying eggs
If you were sick from too much cake
It must be Car's fault they'd cry
Let's burn her at the stake
Rainy days and hail storms
She'd be the cause of it all
And I bet she could conjure up
A forty foot snowfall
Death, disease and destruction
She was probably behind it all
It was she who started the Black Death
Even though she wasn't born
Who began the fire of London
Who killed the Russian Tsar
Who went and sunk the Titanic
It was probably Car!
So if you are sick with lurgy
Or you've broken your big toe
Don't wallow in self pity
Give blaming Car a go.
If your computer catches a virus
If the cat shits in your shoe
If you got sacked from your job
Now you know what to do
If you've been out and got pissed
And don't know where you are
Don't struggle for explanations
Just blame it all on Car!
If you don't win the lottery
Or there's no beer at the bar
Just stand up tall and shout it out
It must be that bloody Car!
Global warming, shrinking ice caps
The disappearing bees
Floods, fires and earthquakes
Car's to blame for all of these
And one day when the world ends
When the sun glows as a bright red star
They'll raise their hands to heaven and cry
I bet that's that bloody Car!
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